I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
