drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
you traded sex for a burrito?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
