Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
So much rum. So many feels.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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