I looked at my own cervix.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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