Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
