Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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