She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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