This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
