I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
