It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
