I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Im part way to drunk.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
