____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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