Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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