Did you just see the Batmobile???
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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