i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
