if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
My dick has a subreddit
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
