is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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