I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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