yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
