Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
