i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
is it fun? or sober?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
