sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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