dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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