***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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