I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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