look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
