From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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