Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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