This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
