if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
