Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
