Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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