You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
