Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
