if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
