She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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