so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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