thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
How's work?
Spinning.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
