I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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