Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
