I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
