I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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