Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
People in love make me want to vomit
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
