Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
