yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
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