Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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