i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
