like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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