I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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