their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
