just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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