I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
