Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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