so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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