11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
