and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
