He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
