Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Randomize
