You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
