sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
