Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
