oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
