Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
